1
‍I am drowning.
From where do we come? From ourselves?
The solution is always within, but I keep wishing for a magical solution that will make everything disappear.
How can I solve all my problems?
Only by disappearing.

‍2
‍We live in a society that fears feelings.
We don’t know how to express them.

‍3
‍I have so many feelings.
I try to hide them.
I’ve been trying to bury them for years, feeling ashamed of them
even though they burst out of me against my will.

4
‍What comes to me is a stone, a cry
The rock that split my back.
There is no place to escape from my thoughts, from my feelings, from loneliness.
I stumble endlessly into the many ways places collapse into nothingness.
My room surrounds me.
I can’t see anything.
I can’t see my shadow.
‍
‍5
‍I almost swear that this helped me.
This thing helped me a lot.
This artistic practice wasn’t art.
It was a matter of life or death.Sometimes I don’t know how to speak.
I feel heaviness in my chest.
I feel that I disappear from my consciousness when I start.
My conscious mind fades.
This harsh voice, the controlling one, disappears.
I don’t feel the heaviness of my body.
I don’t feel the heaviness of my thoughts…
I don’t feel my weight.

‍6
‍We grew up, and silence became the master.
Silence of the situation.
Silence of harm.
Silence of feelings.
Silence of everything.

‍7
‍In my healing journey, sharing is a part of it.
Healing is a part of it.
Medicine is a part of it.
Fear makes me shrink.
Desire makes me shrink.
Life makes me shrink.

8
‍By sharing, I can loosen my burdens.
Pages can loosen their grip.
My soul can meet different pieces of itself.
We can feel that we are not alone.

‍9
‍A lot can happen simply because someone knows you.
Because someone calls you.
And because you try to experience your private artistic practice, your own build, your soul’s raw insistence, completely and fully.